Sunday, December 25, 2011

Role of beliefs in shaping our lives

We build our belief system all along our lives. With every experience we go through and according to the outcome of the experience we gain a new belief about ourselves and our abilities and depending on this belief we have some feelings that we behave according to.

The beliefs we gained when we were young have huge impact on our lives even after we grew up. Think of a situation when you were young and where you were acknowledged, appraised and encouraged, how do you feel every time you remember it or when you go through a similar experience? Think of another one where you were blamed and criticized, how do you feel about it? Do you accept to go through it again? For me, in the first situation, I feel proud of my achievement, self confident, valuable and believe in my capabilities. In the second I may feel guilty, ashamed, un-confident and I may avoid going through the same experience again. In both cases the outcome of the experience is the cause of my belief and for sure if I had another outcome in both experiences, I would have a different belief about it although I am the same person.

We all had gained a set of empowering beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities during our childhood and youth and these beliefs were due to the outcomes of the different experiences we went through, these beliefs are serving us, supporting us and they are the reason behind our success and happiness. And another set of disempowering and limiting beliefs which are the reason behind our lack of self confidence, self esteem and unhappiness. I like to call it limiting more than disempowering because it expresses how these beliefs are preventing us from reaching the unlimited opportunities we can find in life. These beliefs cause negative feelings and negative self talk that always tell us that we are not good, we don’t deserve, why make effort while we know that we will fail, it’s useless to try, and many other patterns of negative self talk. The limiting beliefs and the negative self talks are a fact in our life, who of us didn’t experience these kinds of negative thoughts? But the difference between different people is how they deal with their inner negative self talk. The essential is to be aware when the negative self talk starts and how to silence it.

It isn’t impossible to replace our disempowering and limiting beliefs by more positive ones that serve and support us to achieve more success but we need to go through some steps to reach the goal of getting rid of a limiting belief.
I will share with you some tips that worked for me to let go my limiting beliefs and replace this negative self talk about myself by a more positive one.
  • ·         Repeating affirmations (positive and empowering statements) daily. It brings a great positive energy.
  • ·         Keeping a list of my previous successes and achievements and reviewing it regularly or when I feel down.
  • ·         Writing about different situations I went through and their outcomes and examine how this limiting belief has badly influenced my life and think about how to replace it.
  • ·         Surround myself with positive people to support me when I am down and to remind me of the positive and the achievements in my life.

These are some structures that worked for me, so feel free to share (in the comments box) what worked for you in the past or what you think may work for you to let go your limiting beliefs; and feel free to send your questions, I will be glad to support you.

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