Monday, February 27, 2012

A letter to an amazing woman





Dear sister,

    I am writing this letter to share my thoughts and my feelings with you; you are the only one who can understand what I think and how I feel. I know you go through a lot of struggles and fights every day like me. I want to share with you a great experience that I went through one day.

I live a life like yours; working, taking care of my family, giving birth to my lovely children, raising them, feeding them, looking after them, doing my best to make them feel comfortable and happy, taking a lot of responsibilities at work and at home. I am trying my best to prove to everybody that I am a successful working person, a good wife, a good mother and a good daughter. I have done all that I can to please everybody. At work, I worked extra hours to get my work done on time. I always found the energy and the time to take my kids to their workouts, or take them out for some fun, even when I was very exhausted. I had to go see my parents and tolerate their blame while I needed someone to give me a tap on the back. I gave up opportunities to travel— something that I really love and enjoy—to meet never-ending project deadlines. I felt unsatisfied, unfulfilled and unhappy. My days and my life were a long list of tasks for everybody else with nothing for me, for my happiness, and my self-care. Although I have done my best to please everybody, they were rarely pleased with what I did; on the contrary, they criticized me more and more.

One day I realized that I couldn't go further. I needed to find a solution. I felt totally unhappy and unsatisfied. I needed to make a huge change but I didn't know where to start or how to start. At that time I thought it was a time management issue so I looked for books about time management. I came by a book that made me realize after reading it that my problem was not about time; it was mainly a mindset issue. It's my way of thinking, my way of living, my way of allowing unimportant things to consume my time, leaving me unsatisfied and unhappy at the end of the day. I wasn't putting myself and my happiness as a priority. The book that I mentioned before made a huge change in my life. I had gotten the book in 2000. The author of the book is one of the most famous personal coaches in the world, and ever since I read it, I started searching for and learning about coaching. Now that I became a coach myself I decided to offer my coaching to WOMEN all over the world and especially on the HAPPINESS aspect of life. 

Dear sister, 

    The amazing woman I want to address my message to is YOU, every woman all over the world. Yes, you are amazing. No one can tolerate what you are tolerating for your family, your children, your parents, and your friends. The support you are offering everyone passing your way is fantastic. No one can bring happiness to your family as you can. No one cares about your children and fights to protect them as you do. No one is giving up and denying their happiness for the happiness of others as you are.  I admit you are amazing, caring, tender, loving, courageous, sacrificing and strong. I admit you are great, but there is something I want to whisper in your ear "You can't make others really happy unless you are". Your happiness doesn't mean you give up happiness of others. Your self-care doesn't mean you give up caring for others. Your self-love doesn't mean you give up loving others. Showing self-care and self-love and looking for your happiness means you appreciate, value, and respect who you are. Be sure that as much as you appreciate yourself, your family will appreciate you and what you do. As much as you value yourself, your family will value you. As much as you respect yourself, your family and the entire world will respect you. So just be proud of who you are and show enough self-care and self-love. You will feel happier, more confident and you will shine. 

“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”  ~ Brigham Young ~

Can you imagine that by taking care of your happiness, you are teaching others how to be happy and this is exactly what you aim for, don't you do your best to make others happy? In this world, there are millions of stories of amazing women with achievements that varied from fighting for their families and their children to make their lives better to leading their countries and their people to greatness. In history, you can find plenty of such stories. Don't you like to be one of these role models? I am offering you a small secret, just learn to make yourself happy and you will be a role model for everyone else. You will shine and illuminate others lives, you will energize and inspire others. You will teach many others how to be happy; something that all the humanity has been looking for for centuries.

Starting this week, I invite you to dedicate only one hour daily for yourself to do something you like. Don't say I don't have one hour per day, you have 24 hours a day and one hour is not too much for your happiness and your wellness. Listen to music, walk in the open air, meet a friend, have your hair cut, read a book, go to the movie, or attend a seminar. Do anything that you like; just relax and enjoy every minute of these sixty minutes and write down how you felt after this hour. You can have the seven hours of the week organized in different ways, half a day once per week, three and half hours twice a week, two hours and half every second day or one hour daily. Manage them the way that suits you. The important thing is to commit to it as an important appointment in your week. Plan ahead for it, and don't give it up for any reason. You will feel the impact this hour will have on your life.

20 comments:

  1. Lovely post. You described the struggle of a typical working mum very truly in which she is torn between a million responsibility, just to please everyone around regardless of her own happiness. I'll surely try your ME time advice.

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    1. I did it because I was that woman for long long years until finally I found my way and my happiness in coaching which helped me make a huge change in my thinking and living way. Thanks for reading my post and I like to always see your comments on my posts and if you have any questions or challenges please let me know I may help. Let me know how the ME time is working for you :):)

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  3. You left me with no words. Beautiful. And so true. I love the quote that you added. Thanks.

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  4. It's a great reminder. Thanks Nihad. :-)

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  5. I love the idea of one hour a day of self-care. Why not? We spend the rest of it on other people. Great post, Nihad.

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    1. Yes it's only one hour but usually we don't commit enough to our self care. We always commit to care for others but rarely for ourselves although we can't make others happy unless we are. We are the starting point.
      Thank you :)

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  6. This is an awesome eye-opening post:) Thanks for reminding me again, today!

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  7. An encouraging post. By the way, what is the title of the book you mentioned? I couldn't find it in the post. Sounds like a good read to me.

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    1. Thanks Ruth :), the book is "Take time for your life: a 7 step program for creating the life you want" for Cheryl Richardson.

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  8. What a great reminder! With two little ones it's hard to find an hour. ;) But I'm going to commit myself to 15 minutes and go from there!!

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    1. Making it regular even for a short time can be so helpful especially with moms with little kids, they may need it more than anybody else. Good luck.
      Thank you :)

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  9. I that you are taking the lessons you've learned and eagerly sharing them with women of the world!

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    1. We learn from each other, I like to read other moms blogs sometimes I find helpful ideas for my own challenges. We need each other support.
      Thank you :)

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  10. What a great letter Nihad - it made me feel loved and supported :) Now I have to really try to do that one hour for myself routine!

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